Hey, everyone.
I'm participated in AIDS Walk LA 2009.
I know a lot of you awesome kids don't have a lot of money to speak for, but this is a great cause.
All the donations go toward picking up the slack left from all the government AIDS care that lost funding.
The walk is October 18, 2009 in West Hollywood Park.
I will be walking with Macy's (since that's how I found out about it), but Jonah is trying to get a group of like-minded people to be heroes for a day and help an amazing cause.
If you're in the LA area and interested in walking, you can go to his tumblr/melo and let him know you're interested in starting this team.
((More information about his team here.))
Otherwise, I will be taking donations for the walk on my AIDS walk homepage.
Any little bit counts.
Even $5 could make a difference.
Thanks guys!!
I love you all!!

I think I'm the luckiest girl on earth.

I was desperately trying and failing to make Simon meow.
He... refused.
He's fucking cute rolling around on the kitchen floor, though.
Also, I have a nasty flipflop tan. D:


Cuuute kitty.

Went apartment hunting today in Koreatown.
Brent is moving in with us, and we found this really awesome two bedroom place.
They want $1,350 for it, but the manager said that if we really were interested, we could negotiate the price down some.
Also, they're really lenient about pets and such.
I'm really excited.

___

Called my mom today.
We had a nice conversation.
I think she's finally starting to realize that this is what I want.
She didn't even try to lecture me when we talked about the wedding. Just told to make sure it's REALLY what I want and to keep her updated about everything.
She got all emotional, then I got all emotional. It was ridiculous, but really sweet.
I haven't had a unstrained conversation with my mom in so long.
It was especially refreshing after having that shitty visit from my dad a couple weeks ago.
I miss her.

___

Not much else to say.
Warehouse 13 and pizza tonight.
Working and hanging with Brent tomorrow.
Today made me feel so hopeful.
The apartment stuff will come together.
My relationship with my mom can be mended.
Everything will work out.
I'm in a pretty great mood.

Having a bad day.
My dad apparently thinks that my apartment is disgusting, so he got a hotel.
But like, he won't stop telling me that I should clean, and that he can't believe we didn't clean better when we knew they were coming to visit and blahblahblahcleancleanclean.
I don't even want to see him anymore.
I want them to go home.
Ugh.
I feel like shit about everything.

___

Called my grandma today.
It's her 71st birthday.
We talked for about a minute before my service cut out.
I miss her a lot.

___

I need to be cheered up.
Someone text me.
Pleaseee?

A few good questions:

1. Why the fuck is it a hundred million degrees outside, and why doesn't this place have air conditioning?!
2. What is it about me that makes sleazy Mexicans want to holla?
3. Why doesn't my apartmens have a dishwasher and/or magical Keebler elves who do my dishes at night after I'm asleep?
4. Why don't people comment my shit on melo/myspace/facebook/lj anymore? I used to have a ton of e-friends.
5. Why do middle aged and older women always share they're sex lives with me at work? "Lingeries Dept" does not mean "tell me your sex stories."
6. Also, why do wrinkly old ladies insist on wearing skanky looking clothes? You're old!!
7. WHY THE FUCK IS IT A HUNDRED MILLION DEGREES OUTSIDE?!?!?

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Those questions pretty much sum up my whole day.
I don't even really have anything else to talk about.

Lately, I've had really nothing to talk about.
I work.
Constantly.
All the time.
Like, last week I worked 34hrs and this week I work 37hrs.
It's good money, but goddamn.
I'd claim a bed in the home dept as my own if they didn't have bedbugs. D:
(It's true. One of the girls who works up there told me. Sososo gross.)

___

Going to Santa Monica tomorrow, I think.
Jonah and I need a day out of the city together.
We never get to spend time together just out and about and I feel like it puts a strain on our relationship.
Just... the not being together as much.
It's harder now that we're both working and he's not always home to kiss me when I get home.
But we will muscle through until we get used to it.
I love that boy.

___

Speaking of that boy, he's convinced to give D&D a shot.
I will never forgive myself for becoming more a huge nerd.
Don't make fun of me. D:
I will never live this down, will I, Wendy?

___

Er... I think that's all I have to talk about?
I need to go return some books to the library soon.
My life is so mundane.
I wish I had infinite money for a beautiful, expensive (but still smallish) wedding.
Like, now.
Instead of in 10 months.
Oh well.

___

Text me, kids.
262.498.9801
Love youz.

He can fly.
Yup.

Simon, a few weeks ago.
This might have been before his ball removal.
Look how he shows off his massive junk.



Video of Simon monthsss ago.
He was such a baby.
Also, please ignore me in the background.
I was taking a quiz thing and it asked if I was nice, haha.
I had to ask Jonah to find out.

I need to vent.

1. I'm disappointed in how you've changed. So much for family, right?
2. I know things between us have changed a thousand times, but thank you so much for always being my shoulder if I need one. You'll always be one of my best friends.
3. If you still hate me, just fucking say so. This pretending to be nice and making snarky comments you know I'll see is just childish.
4. I hate that this didn't turn out how I wanted. My feelings are really hurt.
5. I don't know what I would do without you. Sometimes I wonder if you fully understand just how important to me you are. I love you.
6. Even 2,763 miles away, you still have the ability to either make or break my day. I guess your job is complete.
7. I know I hurt you by leaving and I know I still haven't apologized, but I just don't know what words I can say.
8. You are the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Congratulations.
9. Maybe it's immature to say, but I was busy planning and you didn't call me either. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but what could I do?
10. I wish we were still as close as we were 10 years ago.

___

X-posted.
Deal.

Kayla's sweet piercer boyfriend did my septum yesterday.
It's still sore because I keep accidentally bumping my nose.
And I can feel the crusties in between cleanings, which is kinda disgusting.
But I really love it.
I just... almost died when I got it.
Lost all color in my face, my hearing got muffled, my vision blurred.
Basically, mini-shock.
Poor Adam and Kayla thought I was going to die or something. They had to get me water and the fan so I could feel better.
Pictures from last night.
Please ignore my stupid face.

( Click me. )

Wonderful day today.
Went to the L.A. Natural History Museum with Ashley and Jonah.
Spent a few good hours there.
Then Ashley took us out to Panera for lunch.
It was so much fun.
I even wore a dress for the occasion. :]

___

Kayla gets in on the 16th at 11am.
She'll be here for a week.
We'll probably go to the observatory one of the days she's here.
And generally just out and about.
That'll be pretty epic, too.

___

My dad is visiting Aug. 28th - Sep. 6th.
Yeah.
That's a long time.
And they're coming into Burbank.
Because they are CRAZY.
And I don't think they realize that we don't live near my stepmom's niece.
She lives in the OC.
We're in downtown.
That's farish.
Sigh.

___

Also, pictures from today...

( Click me, plz. )

___

I feel myself longing for something.
But I'm not sure what.
I have the best husband I could ever want.
I have a job that pays the bills.
I have a roof over my head.
And I'm pretty sure my mom has mostly stopped being angry with me.
But I still... want something.
Some sort of mental stimulation.
A book that makes me feel smart.
A friend to go to a coffee shop with and talk for hours about books and music and films and television and everything.
A day at a museum (that isn't an art museum) to see something I haven't seen.

And I want to create something.
I find myself doodling names of actors and friends and fictional characters just to busy my hands.
Because I can't really think of anything to write.
Not like I used to, when I was inspired by thinking my life was so rough, when it wasn't.
It was just silly high school woes.
But they inspired me to write insipid, cliche dribble.
And a lot of dribble is probably better than a lot of nothing.
I want to paint.
Because there's really no way to be a bad painter.
It's all abstract and modern art, anyway.
I could bullshit my way through painting.
But brushes and canvases and paints... it's all so expensive.

I just need a mental stimulation.
Something to prod at my brain and turn it back on.
It feels like the creative part of me is on hiatus.
Sigh.

This entry turned out much longer than I'd planned.

Today was a pretty decent day.
Woke up slowly.
Went to the library.
Hung out at Jonah's parents' for a bit.
Went to work.
Came home to pizza.

Downside:
All of our men's G-Shock watches were stolen.
None of the people working center core even noticed it happen.
So I felt retarded, as the new kid, for not paying better attention.
Sigh.

___

I want to buy a shit-ton of cutesy summer dresses.
And just wear them every single day.
Seriously.
I love dresses and need lots more.
Buy me some?

___

I'm currently reading either girly teen fiction or ridiculous pop culture essays.
I need something mentally stimulating.
What books should I read, guys?

___

Also:

Again, not much to say.
I worked from 11:30-8.
Long day, but I like the people I work with, so it's alright.
Plus, we got candy for opening a few credit accounts today.
I had a pomegranate Tootsie Pop.
It's not as exotic as it sounds, though.. it pretty much tastes like a raspberry Tootsie Pop.

___

When I got home, Jonah had cookies and popcorn in the cabinet for me.
He swiped them from his mom's.
I love popcorn, guys.
You have no idea.
It will be a good evening.

__

I desperately need a swimsuit.
Preferably one that's relatively cheap.
Kayla is coming in a few weeks, and she really wants to go to the beach.
And you can't go the beach without a swimsuit.
Sigh.
Also, I need to do some crunches to get rid of the wintertime belly I developed.
It's really not that noticeable, but it bugs me.

___

Last thing, I love being able to sit around on the computer in my underwear again.
I'm so glad our internet is working in our apartment now.
Big smile.

Doing a little soul searching the last couple days.
There are a lot of people I miss having in my life.
My family and some friends.
So I'm writing letters to my mom and grandma, apologizing for the unannounced way I left Wisconsin.
As for friends, I'm not sure.
There's a lot I want to say to people that I'm just not sure how to say.
At least, without sounding totally fake.
I'm always worried that I'm going to try to reconnect with someone, and it's going to come across really rehearsed and shallow and retarded.
I don't know.
I'm sure some people will be hearing from me soon.
I'm all nervous.
Settling differences always gives me shaky hands...

Feeling really weird today.
Like, disconnected.
My head feels kind of like it's floating, and my stomach is trying it's damnedest to revolt against the pasta I just ate.
I feel like I'm going to be ill.
And kind of like I've been doing drugs all day.
Which, you know, I haven't.
Only thing I've taken was knock-off Excedrin for my headache, which didn't go away.
I think I'm dying guys.
Ugh.

All my Macy's paperwork is filled out.
I'm officially hired.
Orientation at 11 on Thursday. :D

___

I have to quit Victoria's Secret now.
I'm a little nervous.
Part of me knows I should put in two weeks notice.
Part of me wants to just up and quit.
I'm not sure what to do.
I guess I'll figure it out.

___

I woke up all sinus-gay.
Stuffy and pressure-y.
And with a sore throat.
The sore throat is mostly gone, thanks to ibuprofen.
But I've been sniffling and sneezing all day.
Laame.

I GOT A JOB AT MACY'S!!
Fuck yes.
I'm starting at, like, 80cents more than I make now.
It's only $9.00, but shit.
That's better than $8.20.
Orientation on Thursday.
Fuck yeah, guys.
Fuck.
Yeah.
All the run-around finally paid off.
*grin*